There’s an integration or a refinement on many levels. Again, this might be different for someone else. On one hand, there was a shift of perspective, living and operating from a deeper understanding, sometimes being completely awake while the body is deeply asleep, knowing myself as causeless happiness, as the infinite, then sometimes being completely wrapped up in the limits of the personal identity.
Also with time, there was an intense and sometimes truly agonizing emotional clearing. There was no way to hide from my experiences anymore. It felt that things from the past would arise again, be relived, but now there was the opportunity to really be with it and not turn away.
Of course, the world goes on with its demands and needs. We all need to make money, go to the dentist, and so on. I was getting used to undisturbed spaciousness, and at the same time was really opening to the human experience with all its splendor and pain. This opening uncovers the inherent softness of the heart. It is not anything intellectual but a “slipping into place” with all of life which is ordinary and humbling but also exquisite and deeply rewarding.
